Top Tips

Top tips. Just don’t take these seriously. Please. Oh, you have? There are some stupid people out there…

If you have a cat and get covered in cat hair, here’s a tip.
Get some sellotape… and wrap it around your cat.animalstips

Adam Bloom

Parents. Ensure you can always throw a surprise party for your kids by not telling them when they were born.familytips

Paul Bassett Davies

Single men – pretend you’re married by simply feeling guilty about doing anything you enjoy.marriagetips

@IHPower

Let your kids experience the thrill of being a doctor by not letting them sleep for 36 hours, then playing Operation.medicaltips

@mrrawlesy

Here’s my tip to gents who want to pick up a girl: keep your back straight and lift with your knees.tips

@TakeYourPhil

If you’re interviewing for an accountancy position, do not promise to give 110%.jobstips

@GCSRecruitment

Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, “I don’t know. I don’t speak Chinese.” Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means.tips

@Nickadoo

Men. Doing your best Michael Winner “Calm down, dear” impression always works a treat when the lady in your life is annoyed.tipswomen

@IHPower

Relieve nervousness in front of naked people by imagining you’re giving a speech to them.tips

@GlennyRodge

Never get your photograph taken at a fancy dress party in case you get amnesia and it’s the first piece of the puzzle you find.tips

Adam Hess

My father said the best way to be positive is to live every day as if it’s your last day on earth. Good advice. So what I do is I spend all day in bed with an oxygen mask and some rosary beads.tips

Ardal O’Hanlon

As cinemas are so frightfully loud these days, make sure your ringtone volume is turned all the way up.tips

@orangeaurochs

Never suggest to a dominatrix that it’s time to hit the sack.tipssex

@TeaAndCopy

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