Robin Williams Jokes

The best Robin Williams jokes, quotes and one-liners taken from his long career as a stand-up comedian and film actor.

Robin Williams

Stand-up comedian and actor



You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing – someone’s losing a trailer…marriage


Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.misc


Who invented the pommel horse? Was it a cowboy with ADD?sport


When I was growing up they used to say, “Robin, drugs can kill you.” Now that I’m 58, my doctor’s going, “Robin, you need drugs to live.” And I realise my doctor is my dealer now… and a lot harder to get hold of.medical


Divorce. From the Latin word meaning “to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”marriage


Why do they call it rush hour, when nothing moves?misc


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